finally i have achieved something of worth. x

finally i have achieved something of worth. x

oh mother i’ve been cold
can’t think straight
will you run the water till the shit comes out?

i really thought i was getting better
sold all my knives back to the butcher
but every conversation we have is still self-harm

a man jumped into a train this morning
and kept us all behind
well i’m sure he had his demons i know i have mine
i know i have mine

so the only thing i’ve ever learnt about life
is that no one knows anything
and if control is the greatest illusion i’m glad we’ve got love
i’m glad we’ve got love

"so as we all know, life is utterly futile.

the universe is so vast and chaotic that anything we do or make in an attempt to make our presence known wont even register in the scale of it all. when faced with this reality, nihilism can become the most natural philosophy to follow. it is in agreement with the universe around us. why should we care when nothing else in the universe does?

however, we humans have somehow evolved a coping mechanism to help us fumble around in the dark. it come to us as love, hate, sadness, fear, anger, joy, etc. the power of these emotions comes from the unique illusion that they present to us whenever they are felt.

the illusion is that for a small moment you feel like the entire universe is made for you.

when are are in love or when we are sad it always feels like no one else could possibly know how that feels. we are bathing in the illusion that we matter in a universe that will never acknowledge us.

and of course this is all part of the evolution of our planet. truly accepting our pointless existence would drive a person mad, so we needed something to cushion us in. something to hold us and tell us that its alright, the universe is listening.

don’t ever let someone make you feel bad for feeling something. its all you have, and you are completely entitled to it.

but be careful with hate. i think that one is more attached to the black holes and the dark matter than it seems.”

- dr james mastiff, from his book “infinity is within us”

brighton music blog

the music video for the song ‘greyhound’ was featured on the brighton music blog recently. many thanks to those guys for thinking its worth a share!

http://brightonmusicblog.co.uk/2014/07/13/butterfly-house-video-for-greyhound/

if you could see the things i’ve seen
that rendered my soul unclean
a ship that flies overhead
with both pilots dead

well if you want tears
then i’m crying
and if you want blood
then i’m bleeding
and if you want heart
then i’m fighting

my body survived the crash
but the rest of me did not
some would call it good luck
i’d call it a good shot

well if you want tears
then i’m crying
and if you want blood
then i’m bleeding
and if you want heart
then i’m fighting

well if you want tears
then i’m crying
and if you want blood
then i’m bleeding
and if you want heart
then i’m fighting

if you could see the things i’ve seen
that rendered my soul a string
they said i’d never walk again
so i grew wings

i steered my path into
collision with yours
maybe it was the drugs
maybe it was the wars
and on that holiday
weapons overseas
i killed more than you
but then you killed me

oh uxo
you knew i was ready to go
oh uxo
you knew i was ready to go

well doctors have their words
for the absurd
it was quiet in hell
something i deserved
so tie up those boots solider
stand to salute
sunlight will ignite my faith
flowers show the truth

oh uxo
you knew i was ready to go
oh uxo
you knew i was ready to go

From the show the other night. Angie on guitar and synth is a new official member.

Butterfly-house.bandcamp.com

http://hiawathatelephone.bandcamp.com/album/passengers-greatest-hits

in march i recorded and played on my friend jons record. its his second album released under the guise of ‘hiawatha telephone company’. we recorded it to tape over a weekend in my loft. the songs came out really well, jons songs have an observant tragedy to them that deserve the attention and time that people don’t usually give anymore. give the record a download from bandcamp and give it some time.

for fans of bill callahan/smog, tim hardin, townes van zandt, etc.

take care x

somehow i feel i have been replaced
by a body devoid of grace
coughing up blood and yellow teeth
against a static record on repeat

i tried to be kind i tried to be gracious
wired up backwards and overly tenacious
am i truly a good person
if absolution is my only concern?

i’ll hang my head for the holy ghost
open myself to be his host
and what is it that keeps me up at night?
reviewing my duties your humble acolyte

and so if i should fall asleep
burn my belongings and bury me deep
cast me into your hopeful void
and wake me when you’re less paranoid

dear god i’m ready when you are
dear god i’m ready when you are
dear god i’m ready when you are
dear god i’m ready when you are

i don’t think i’ve slept for years
eyes shut head awake
you never feel the cold my dear
whilst i shudder and shake

so i like to watch you sleep
it keeps me airtight
you are a majesty watch
carved from moonlight

now edges blur together
and so do the days
but as long as i can watch you sleep
i’ll sit through the haze

i hope you never feel my pain
when the curtains and drawn again
i hope you never feel my pain
when the curtains are drawn again